I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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