I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
