We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
