I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
