Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
