We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
