Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
