I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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