Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
