Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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