: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
