i don't like sucking hair
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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