I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
