he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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