too bad you live with your parents still
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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