hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
please don't ironically join a cult
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