Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
