fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
