the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
