I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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