exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
