Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
