You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
