How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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