His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
