i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
