This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
