Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
