He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
