WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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