Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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