You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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