ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She bit a glass in half.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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