So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
