If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
