I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
