she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
