Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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