real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I enjoy the company of your penis
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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