I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
