Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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