I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
