worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
