Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i've created a new STD.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
