So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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