I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
