I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
