Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
