My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
