He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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