I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize