I just made out with a guy for $7.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
