Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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