I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Boobs are out for the taking
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
