Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
