Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
