Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
