I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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