shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
only if we run a train.
done.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
