no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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